Aliens Will Be Aliens
by Redawilo
Summary: America is tired, but when he off-handedly mentions a certain former guardian of his, Tony gets mad...very mad... And he has an odd, very odd, way of dealing with it.


Um, yeah, I'm not really sure what to classify this under. *sweat drop* There IS a warning on some slightly...strange happenings, all thanks to everyone's favorite (and seemingly more-forgotten-about-than-Canada) alien.

**DISCLAIMER: **Any and all characters involved do not belong to me, nor does the Nintendo DSi. The only thing that DOES belong to me is this and the (highly embarrassing, but more on that later) statement that brought this to life.

* * *

It was late in the evening, and America had had his dinner. It had been a long day, and tomorrow there was to be a world meeting. Even though he would usually stay up much later, he decided it would be a good thing to be well rested.

After his shower, he wandered into his room, already half asleep and yawning. Tony was in there on his bed and playing on America's Nintendo DSi and beating the hell out of something. America paid him no mind as he slipped under the covers on his bed, laid Texas on the table beside him, and turned the light out.

"Good night Tony." He said with another yawn. Tony made a noise of acknowledgement followed by some form of a growl as his character died. America chuckled at this. "You should get some sleep too. England's gonna get mad at ME if you're not rested enough to give me final preparations tomorrow morning."

At the name "England", Tony froze up. He looked down at the young nation with his large red eyes and clicked the gaming devise off. While America drifted off to Slumberland, he crawled off the bed, wandered across the room and dug into the closet. He tried not to make a lot of noise as did, although with all the junk his nation had piled up over the years, it made that task hard. At last he found what he had been hunting for. He smirked inwardly (seeing as he doesn't have much of a mouth) and pulled out a little, shiny, black box.

He sat on the cold floor for several minutes, clicking together various bits of metal that he removed from said box. He would occasionally groan and undo part of what he had just assembled, having made a mistake somewhere along the line. At last, however, he chuckled to himself as he completed the device. He stood up and crept his way back to America's bed.

Carefully he pulled back the covers on the other side and crawled up behind the sleeping nation. He inched closer, removing the blankets as he went. At last he had reached America and had uncovered him. Slowly, slowly, slowly he reached down to the hem of the sweatpants he slept in, not wanting to wake him. He took hold of it and brought them down just enough to reveal the pale ass. Tony raised the device, which in the glow of the moonlight coming through the window, looked like a metal rod with various sharp pointy things at one end of it. It very much resembled something you'd see an alien in an old cheesy horror movie carrying. With yet another chuckled, he brought the thing to his nation's ass. Yes, HIS nation's ass, how Tony liked the sound of that.

*****

Outside the window, a shrill yelp split the air. England, who had been standing in a tree and peering into the house with Japan's mind-reading binoculars, nearly fell. He had to hold onto the trunk tightly to keep his knees from collapsing. America's pained cries continued to emit from his house, and England quickly discovered he was unable to stand. He sank down and sat on the branch and continued to watch in sheer awe. Tony was PISSED. Had been pissed since America had mentioned his name. And England could see everything the alien had been thinking, but he didn't think America was going to respond the quite way he had; by moaning and mewling in what very closely resmbled pleasure.

It wasn't long before England couldn't stand the pants and whines and cries and the sights he was seeing. Much to his dislike, as he enjoyed his pride very much, he reached down and had to unzip his pants, as they were feeling much to restricting for his comfort. And things for both he and the star of the show only went downhill from there that night.

*****

The following morning, England stumbled into the conference room. He hadn't gotten any sleep from the images of that night. He was early, somehow, but he really didn't want to be there. He blinked in surprise when he saw America already there. He glanced around and noticed no one else was present yet.

"Hey England!" America yelled with his usual grin when he finally realized he wasn't alone. "Man, you look like hell."

England ignored this comment, more worried about his former colony's well-being than his own at the moment. "A-are you feeling alright?"

America looked a little confused but gave him a thumbs-up anyway. "Of course! I'm the hero you know!"

"Y-yeah…" England said, deciding he shouldn't point out that the younger nation had just had a very strange object inside him not more than twelve hours earlier. However, he did notice something strange. "You don't have a hamburger?"

At this America suddenly grew gloomy and depressed. "Yeah…about that…" he said, shaking a little. "Tony's been making them for me lately, and I discovered where he's been getting the meat this morning…" He didn't say anymore as he limped over to his seat. The others were arriving anyway.

England couldn't help wondering if having an alien for your boss was at all good for one's well-being.

* * *

Erm...I have only one thing to say this soon after remembering just how messed up this is. *sweat drop* Sorry for weirding all of you out! *clears throat*

Anyway, there's a bit of a tale behind this. Two years ago I was sitting outside with my friends at lunch at school. Somewhere along the line we came upon the subject of aliens. (At this time I knew nothing of Hetalia's amazing existence...if it did exist back then.) Without even thinking I got my friends attention by making the blunt statement: "There are only TWO things aliens think about and do; cow mutilation (hence the burgers *cough*) and anal probing!" ... ... ... It was at that moment that the vice principal happened to be walking about five feet behind me. Thankfully he said he'll pretend he didn't hear that (was later told that he was actually kinda chuckling) and continued on his way. But you know what? I still stand by my statement, except now I add in crop circles...

On a completely different note: am I the only one who's read a profile of America where it's identified that Tony is his boss? 'Cause it sure feels like it when I read others' fanfics sometimes...

PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU ENJOYED IT! Reviews make this bent fangirl very happy!


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